Left Handed Compliments | What Are They?

So, what exactly is a left handed or back handed compliment?  It's a compliment with two meanings, one of which is unflattering to the receiver. It's basically a creative insult.  I was in the grocery store and heard this lady tell another lady, "It's so cool that you don't care how you look when you go out."  I was like whoa!  The lady she was talking to just said "thank you" and walked off.  Wonder if she got it later, or just didn't care.  I would be the latter.  

This is one of those phrases where “left-handed” is used in a negative or abusive way without any real reason. This expression uses left-handed in the sense of “questionable or doubtful,” a usage dating from about 1600 according to dictionary.com. Another explanation is that a left-handed compliment is an insult concealed in an apparent compliment and thus is the reverse of a real compliment, as left is the reverse of right. The left side has long been associated with wrongness and being “sinister”.

Some definitions:

• A criticism or insult disguised as a compliment, an insult in the guise of an expression of praise
• A compliment with two meanings, one of which is unflattering to the receiver.
• Sometimes, a left-handed compliment may be inadvertent. However, the term usually indicates an intent to belittle or condescend Also called backhanded compliment
• A type of Asteism – Polite irony; a genteel and ingenious manner of deriding another.

And your response!?!?

Examples:

• No makeup looks good on you.  Maybe now that acne will clear up.

• I'm so proud that you're working out so hard!  You'll see results one day.

• That dress is everything!  It hides your rolls really well.

• I love your hair.  Did you do it yourself?

• Congratulations on the new baby!  How many is that now?

• It's cool how you don't care how messy your house is.

• That outfit though!  You like it I love it!

• Congratulations on your engagement!  Let me see the ring. Awwww (in a baby voice)...it's just so cute.

Left me stop!  I got a million of them. Watching any kind of reality television will keep you in the know on back-handed compliments.

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